Breakers and Waves

I'm laying on a beach. the sun is out. the waves crash. the golden sand blows. but I'm paralyzed. I'm all alone. I feel as empty as the beach itself. the sand is so hot. It burns my back. it seeps into my scalp and tangles my hair. it rubs on my feet until blisters form on my ankles. my skin cracks and the sand stings my raw flesh. I can do nothing. the sun beats down on my skin. I'm exposed. I have no cover. I have no help. I'm alone. It scorches my skin. I feel sick. the burnt parts start to bubble up. I can't even move to clean them. or look at them. I can't move. I'm all alone. the sun never goes away. I'm stuck on this beach. I know I must look as if I'm dead. if someone were to fly over me in an airplane they wouldn't stop. I look like a corpse. but I know I'm not dead because my mind is racing. why can't I just get up? why did I lay down in the first place? why have I laid here so long? I'm so worthless. I can't do anything in moderation. I need help. but I told no one I was here. I isolated myself. I did this to myself. the sun is too bright now. I cant open my eyes. its to harsh. everything is so dry. everything feels as if it will break. I can't do this anymore. get me out of here. get me out. get me out.

something touches my toes. it stops. then again it touches my toes, but this tI'me it touches all the way up to my ankles. it leaves. it comes back. this tI'me all the way to my knee caps. it leaves the tide. the tide. It's coming to rescue me. the tide comes back. it reaches my stomach. as it leaves the hot sand around me cools down. the tide comes back, this tI'me reaching my neck. I am relieved. it leaves again. I wait for it to come back and cool off my face, my hair. Where is it? why isn’t it coming back. I hear it. I hear it coming. and it isn't just a tide anymore. It's a Wave.

it crashes down on me. it lifts my body off the beach. it swallows me. I am carried into the depths of Its stomach. there’s no sun here. the Salt Water feeds my wounds. It nourishes my skin. It untangles my hair. I can open my eyes. darkness surrounds me. but it isn’t scary. I feel at peace. I feel at home. like I belong. I feel as if I can melt into the Water. become a part of it. live in the depths forever. just me and the Ocean. nothing else is here. and I feel loved. I feel valued. I've never felt this way before. this is what I needed. I was on that beach so I could get swallowed by the Ocean. I was in pain so the Ocean could show me what real healing was like. I'm not afraid of the beach anymore. if going to the beach again means I can live in harmony with the Waves, I'd do it again. and again. and again.