The Goodness of God
I think I have confused the sources of goodness in my life. After being saved by Jesus, I honestly thought that more goodness in my life meant being more obedience. I thought that as long as I do good and serve well, I will be rewarded. As long as I learn what God is teaching me, he will give me the next best thing. But my relationship with Jesus is not transactional. It never has been.
I knew when Jesus saved me I didn’t deserve it. I was a sinner, broken, trying everything the world offered to be filled. But Jesus came and borke my heart with his fierce love and adoration. I didn't have to clean myself up or make perfect choices in order for Him to love me.
He had adored me since the beginning of time, knowing I could never adore him as much.
He had adored me on the cross, knowing every terrible thing I would do.
He had adored me in the midst of my mess, knowing the last thing I wanted was him.
He adored me through it all. I knew I didn’t deserve redemption, freedom, peace, protection, or perfect adoration. But he gave himself up so i could freely receive all these things and more when I declared him Lord of my life.
Somehow along the way, after I started following him, I started to think I had to perform in order to keep these things. That he would take away my redemption, my freedom, his perfect adoration if I didn’t repay him. I felt like I had to obey more, read more, practice more, be perfect more, in order to keep my salvation. But Jesus reminded me today that it was never about performance, perfection, or striving for acceptance- and it still isn’t. It’s about abiding in Jesus. Spending time with him and serving him, not out of obligation but because you love him more than anything. Yes, obedience is important. But it comes from a place of adoration for Jesus, and will not lead to “more” on its own. Only Jesus, the perfector of our faith, can produce more goodness and more holiness in our lives.
These questions are ones I had to ask myself, and if you identify with anything I said above, you can ask yourself too.
So, in your quiet time, ask yourself: “why am I doing this?” Is it to check a box or to get something for your day? If it is, maybe you should rethink your plans, and realign yourself to the heart of Jesus: I just want you, to spend time with you.
So, in the middle of your serving, ask yourself: “why am I doing this?” Is it because it makes you feel good or because you think it’s the right thing to do? If it is, maybe you should take a break and yourself what your identity is in- your works or the blood of Jesus.
So, in the exhaustion of “being a good Christian,” as yourself: “Why am I doing this?” Is it because doing the right thing and trying to be perfect through all of your works is all you’ve ever known? If it is, have you heard the true gospel? (Galatians 1:6-10). The one that says that we are broken people, living in a broken world, when Jesus died for us so we would not have to live in brokeness or die into more brokeness, but live in fullness of joy and perfect love through him who died. And after accepting him as Lord and savior, we are new creations, citizens of heaven, who will experience suffering on this side of eternity because Jesus suffered. But we persevere, because every person needs to hear the name of Jesus, and it is all for the glory of God.
I pray you know that the goodness of God is freely given by the grace of Jesus Christ. It always has been, and it always will be.
Galatians 2:19-21